Admit it. You get off having women fuck with your mind. You really are so perverted that humiliation, temptation, and subversion turns you on. How did you get to like being Mind-Fucked so much? Well, I have something for you: Mindfuck Mantras. You really do need to practice screwing with your brain a lot more than people can do in real life. So here, I am going to toss some mantras your way. Oh, and toss in some masturbation if you feel you deserve it.

Humiliation Mindfucking

You are a loser. Inside and out. In every way any woman can think of, you are a complete and utter loser. If you are into men, they think you are, too. Transfolks? They think you are an idiot, too. You are just fucked all the way around. And not just in your mind.

To make things extra screwed up, you love the humiliation of being a loser! What is wrong with you? Oh, that’s right, you are a loser!

Doing Humiliation Mindfuck Mantras can take on any number of patterns and methods:

  • You could repeat “Loser” with every stroke of your cock. If I were in control, I would tie your hands behind your back and have you repeat “Loser” to a metronome. I don’t think you even deserve to give yourself sexual pleasure. But I am not there, so there you have it.
  • Perhaps sitting in the lotus position and meditating on your pathetic life.
  • Maybe you stand in front of the mirror and repeat mantras of validation for your pitiful status in life.

Small Penis Humiliation Mantras

If you are one of the (UN)lucky ones with a tiny penis, I’m thinking that you get your own series of Mindfuck Mantras. I mean, you have probably been filled with the most humiliation of everyone for the longest time, right? Plus, of alllllll the people who like humiliation, it is overwhelmingly the SPH guys and gals.

Here are some naughty affirmations you can repeat to ingrain your inability to please anyone but yourself with your penis.

  • Measuring your teeny weenie over and over in a methodical and rhythmic way while repeating the measurement out loud.
  • Hold your penis with your finger and thumb, pulling it out as if you are trying to stretch it. Repeat: “Who would want this but me? Who would want this but me?” Repeat 20 times if it is over 3 inches. 50 times if it is under 3 inches.
  • If you have a partner, apologize to them tonight for having a small penis. You are required to apologize to them at least once a week for a year.

Ultimate Mindfuck Mantras for Those Who Pay for a “Girlfriend”

This is one that brings me the most amusement. When you losers have to pay for sexual company or sexual relief. Whether it is a “massage,” an escort, a call-girl, a “date,” or calling us Mistresses for phone sex, you are incredibly pitiful. And you know it, that’s the best part! I thought about adding a plastic doll and a pocket pussy, but decided I would stick with live folks. However, it really is pathetic that you have those in your closet, too.

Repeat After Me:

  • “No one wants me unless I pay them.” Repeat this 50 times while looking in the mirror. Once a day.
  • “I need to make more money so I can pay for a hired girlfriend.” Say this while driving to and from work.
  • “The girls I pay feel sorry for me and tell their girlfriends about me.” Repeat this in your head while shaving.
  • “Why do I have to pay girls to spend time with me?” Fill in as many blanks as you can while you are masturbating.

Add Stupidity Mindfuck Mantras

If you are one of the Forrest Gump types (without the good luck), you have your own Mindfuck Mantras. It always amuses me when someone knows how stupid they are. They probably say that R-word about themselves (I won’t say it here, but you know what I mean). Are you one of the people who fucks everything up? You can’t screw in a light bulb properly? You need someone to put toothpaste on your toothbrush? Are you completely useless as a man? As a woman? As a person? Well these are for you.

  • “I have no brains.” Repeat this looking in the mirror.
  • “I make no sense.” This is for whenever you are at work and trying to explain something.
  • “People think I am stupid. People are right because I am stupid.” Anytime you make a mistake, this is your mantra.
  • “I will never be successful.” When you are walking, with each step: “I will never…” then the next step: “be successful.” Then repeat as you are walking the dog or walking up and down the stairs. It’s a beat you can use all day long.

If You Get Down to This Part…

I want you to know I think you are fucking awesome. You might get off on humiliation… go for it! But in my heart of hearts, I think you are an amazing human being. Believe in yourself and know I believe in you, too.

Click above to hear Ms. Daphne